Wedding Week

Mom! I can't believe it is already time for my Wedding Week! I wish you were going to be there for all of the last minute touches and details. I wish you were the one doing my hair. I wish you would be making last minute alterations for the bridal party. I wish you would be making all of your special treats for the family. I wish you were there to hold my hand and quote, "For such a time as this..." to me.

It breaks my heart that have to do this without you, but just know you are here in spirit. Your voice is so alive in my head. I hear it everyday. I just wish you could see what I have been in the last 2 years. God has shown me so much about myself and how to love Erik the right way. I think you would be proud.

I love you, Mom!

Happy Birthday!

Happy 62nd Birthday! I am just sure you would look fabulous on this day if you were here. Sometimes I think about the gifts I would buy you if you were here. There is this store in Branson called Mark Ashton bags. They are a lot like Vera Bradley, but you can customize the fabric. If you were here on this birthday, I would have had a custom bag made for you.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

What would you do?

"What would you do?" Those are the words I would really like to ask you tonight. There are so many little details that needs decisions on them very soon, and I can't seem to choose which way to go.  All I know is I want to marry that man and have him as my partner. I wish all of the other stuff would just magically appear.

Can I show you the things I want to do for decorations?

I really think you would like it all. I am trying to keep it as "less is more." I try to hear your words of how to handle myself and all of the decisions.  I love you and wish you were here to help me with everything.  

Wish you were here...

MOM!!!!! He proposed. I said yes.

And you would have loved where he did it, too! Riverview Park in Hannibal. I used to love going there with you.  I always thought it was our special place. Even when we were hugging right before he got down on one knee, I was thinking about you.  I forgot to tell you that he used the diamond that dad gave to you for your first diamond. We remounted it in a white gold Tiffany style solitaire mount. You wouldn't believe how much it sparkles.

So, since you aren't here, Aunt Lennis has been helping with all of the planning. It is really exciting. We are having the wedding and reception at the Apple Basket in Barry. (I loved going there with you, too!)  I think you would really love what we are going to do. Damask, Apples, white lights...  Less is more is my motto! Wonder where I learned that?

I miss you and wish you were here with me for all of the excitement.  But I kind of feel like you are with me because I have a reminder of you on my ring finger everyday!

Love you and miss you so much!

Missing you...

Mom, I can't believe how long it has been since I last heard your voice. Felt your touch. Tasted your food. Is it possible that it has been a year and half? So many things are happening right now that I wish you could be here for.

Since we last spoke so many things have happened between Erik & I. Mom, he wants to be a missionary. Not just go with me, but really wants to partner with me!  He may not be a morning person, like onions, or breakfast, but you loved him so much anyway.  He makes me so happy and is my very best friend. I can't imagine not spending everyday of my life with him.

Today you would have been here while I tried on dresses at David's Bridal. You would have given suggestions about flattering necklines and fabrics that conceal or reveal. Funny thing is that I heard your voice.  It may not have been audible to anyone else in the room, but I heard it.

You are missed so much, Mom.  I wish you could be here for this part of the journey, but I will have to tell you about later when we meet in Heaven. You would love the details!

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

There were so many commercials this year for Lowe's or local gardens that made me want to go buy you a new bush or flowers.  The JCPenney commercials made me want to go clothes shopping with you. I would see a pretty purse and think, Mom would love that.  

Well, you weren't here. And I didn't have a reason to buy you a present. A friend suggested that I just buy something for you and keep it for myself. But that just didn't seem like any fun.  So instead, I made a donation to Europe's Children in your honor. You paid for 5 children from Romania and Kosovo to go to Kid's Camp.

I knew you would like it! Why? Well, because you love Europe, you were always a camp counselor for me, and you would rather I spend money on the "kingdom" that on a silly purse! 

Mom, I miss you so much. Today especially.  The sermon at church had me in tears just thinking about you and our last years together.  They were more precious to me than you will ever know. You were a one of a kind mom and taught me so much about loving God and loving others.  I hope to one day to be half as good as you were at being a mom.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

The donation paid for 5 of these kids to go to camp this summer!

Eat Your Carrots!

Today I was in Kansas City with my office and I was delighted to eat at a Thai Restaurant.  I found my self dreaming of the red or green curry and hoping and praying they would have Mango Sticky Rick on their menu.  I started to think about how much I love this food that many people do not care for.  I started to laugh that I, the pickiest eater of all of my mom's children, would be the one to love all sorts of crazy foods from around the world. Sushi, Indian, Thai, and those are just the top 3!

I'll never forget sitting at the kitchen table at our house in Hull, IL.  Invariably my carrots were mocking me as the rest of my food disappeared from the plate.  Mom would always say to me, "Eat your carrots or you can't leave the table..."  Or sometimes it was, "It's better if you eat them warm" or "mash them up and mix them into your potatoes and you won't even taste them." Lies. They are not better warm. And they still make me gag mixed in with my beloved potatoes!

Was she shocked when I was dragging her to taste of Thai as an adult. Yes. Did she like Thai food? Not really.  Part of me was satisfied when she said it would not be something she would choose to do again!  So mom, here's to you not giving up on me.

P.S. Carrots still make me gag!

Dr. Mom

Mother of six. Cosmetology degree. And seemed to have been shy of a MD because she always seemed to know how to diagnose and cure our every ache and ailment.

I have been sitting in this recliner for almost a week. For the first time in my life I have Pneumonia. I wonder what little home remedies she would know about this one.  Before I went to the doctor this week I could hear Mom's voice telling me to gargle and rub myself down with "Thieves." (Which was her cure for everything!)  So I did. I even drank an 8 oz. glass of water with about 7 drops of tongue burning Thieves. Did it work? No. Did it bring back memories? Yes.

Whether it was holding my head on the sofa with a fever, cleaning up the bathroom from my terrible aim in vomiting, or making me some hot tea and heating pad for my monthly visit from Mother Nature. She was good. She was one of a kind!

Through thick and thin...

I have always struggled to find my place in my very large family.  This is no surprise to anyone. I seem to be the most sensitive out of all of the kids.  I have always been told to, "Suck it up," or "You really need to have thicker skin..."

I missed Mom a lot this weekend as I navigated, once again, a family argument.  She always had a way of reassuring me that I need to believe in my family even when it hurts. That, "I need to remember that family is always there, whether we like it or not!"

Sometimes I just miss her comfort.  She always said that I was the most like her with my sensitive heart.  I often feel like my family thinks it is a bad thing, but Mom always made me feel like it was a positive trait.

 I miss you, Mom. I miss your guidance, your support, and your unconditional love.

The photo

Tonight I uploaded the photo, from the banner of this page, to be printed on canvas for my bedroom. I was staring at the photo remembering that beautiful summer day.  Our hearts were already heavy. We all hoped we would be wrong, but deep down, I think we all knew what the outcome would be.  As I stared at the photo our faces fan across the screen with mom in focus and April becoming blurry. I can't really say why I love this photo so much, other than SHE was the reason for us. She is what makes us who we are. She was the most important thing to all of us.

A note to my mom:

Mom, I have been missing you so much this week. So much has happened in the past few weeks and I wish you were here to share it with me. I wish I could call you as ideas come to me, like I always used to.  I miss hearing your voice. I miss your perfume. I miss your hands. (I think that is another reason I love that photo so much, your hands.)  It's so hard to believe you have been gone so long.  You seem so close to me in my heart. I love you so much and I wish you were here to share this special time with me. Please know that I still try to hear your voice and the advice you would most likely give to me.

Your loving daughter.

She was resourceful!

Tonight I started working out to get ready for my 'someday' wedding. I decided I want to look as good as I can and that has to start NOW.  I was laying in bed thinking about how much my legs were killing me and I thought back to the days of watching mom and her workout routine. I giggled a little thinking back on it.

My childhood was primarily lived out in a 2 1/2 bedroom bungalow in rural western Illinois.  Did I mention that eight people lived there too? Yeah, you could say it was a little tight.  Did I mention 1 bathroom? Yeah, my mom was a saint to live with that for as many years as she did.

Needless to say, bathroom time was limited to showering and other activities. Ahem.  Because bathroom time was limited and a household of 8 still needed to ready for work, school, and church, Mom became quite resourceful.

I can still remember her laying on the floor propped up on one arm on her side.  She would lay with her head over the floor heating vent and she would do leg lifts while she dried her hair. Ever the multi-tasker. When I would ask her why she did it she said she was working off her baby weight.

I cannot begin to imagine all the sacrifices she made for us, but I love that she taught me to make the best of every circumstance.  To use what was available to me and to just be happy with that.  You were quite a woman, Martha Ann Vance Wiseman!

Coffee Talk

When I moved home one of my favorite treasures was waking up early and having coffee with Mom.  I would smell the coffee brewing and I couldn't resist its pull to the kitchen.  

Mom took her coffee with just half and half.  She preferred a full bodied blend, but not too bitter. I have so many memories of watching her sip on her coffee. I can still see how she would hold her coffee mug.  She often sipped in those early hours with the Bible on her lap while she sat in her rocking recliner in the Family Room.  I remember just sitting near her and thinking, "I want to be like that when I grow up..."

After our quiet time was over, or our coffee had finally kicked in, we would talk. It was forced or necessary, but it was something I looked forward to every morning.  I would love to tell her everything that is happening in my life right now. I would love to tell her about Erik and I reuniting in between our sips of coffee.  I would love to hear her advice, whether I like it or not.

Noodles

Mom loved to be in the kitchen. It seemed so natural for her to just put a few or a lot of ingredients together and presto-chango- she had created something so delicious.  I used to be intimidated by her and my sisters because they never let me have the space to be creative in the kitchen. That is until I moved back home again.  Mom & I spent many hours looking through recipes and executing them.  

One of my favorite times was learning to make noodles with her.  This made us laugh because I have a phobia of flour. (The texture totally overwhelms me and takes my breath away). And yes, Mom thought I was nuts, but she humored me.  

She had a pasta machine that made perfect noodle creations. After it was all said and done it was a lot of hard work, but the noodles were lovely. And we had a lot of good laughs to compliment our creations!

Everybody Loves Raymond

Nothing could make my mom giggle like the show Everybody Loves Raymond. Today is Valentine's Day and I am reminded of my Mom & Dad's relationship while watching an episode.  Mom always said that the show is so funny to her because of its similarity to real life.

For most of my life we had to have the TV turned off during dinner time. When I moved home at 25, I found out that my parents had a new dinner ritual. They would sit on the far end of the kitchen table so they could watch Everybody Loves Raymond.  I guess sometimes rules are allowed to be broken, if for a good reason.

I love you, Mom, and if you were here you would have a big vase of flowers from me!

Ice Cream

One thing was true about my mom. She loved ice cream. I was eating Cookies and Cream tonight and something that simple made me recall memories from almost the past three decades!  She had her favorites:  Strawberry, Butter Pecan, and Cookies and Cream.

I can remember sitting on the old gold colored couch at our house in Hull, IL, and mom would be propped up on the arm of the sofa. I loved sitting in the bend of her legs. I had to put a pillow or Grandma Faxon's blanket between the bowl and her leg, of course.  I could look up and see her slowly savoring every last bit of her ritual bowl of ice cream.

I can now say thank you to Mom for my innate need to have ice cream around the same time every night.  Oh well, it's better than needing a cigarette or something!

Getting started

This blog was started to chronicle events and memories I shared with my mom.  There are so many times during the day where I want to ask her a question or I think, "What would Mom do?"  Her life is still very much alive inside of me.  Each story is so important because she was important. She was my Mom!  


So, who was this woman?  
I want to explore this question over and over throughout this blog. I want to dig into her life and research all of the details.  For now this will do:


Name: Martha Ann (Vance) Wiseman
Born:  August 29, 1949-Near Philadelphia, MO
Marriage:  Howard Miller
Children: Travis & Tina Miller
Marriage: Dale Wiseman
Children: Chad, Colin, Sarah, & April Wiseman
Occupation: Master Hair Stylist
Hobbies: Sewing, gardening, cooking, baking, and volunteering
Favorite Movie: Pretty Woman (Makes me laugh that this was her favorite!)

Memory #1
This photo was from my first Christmas of living with Mom & Dad again.  Moving back in my mid-twenties seemed like an odd thing to do since I moved out at 18. But it ended up being the best decision I ever made. I realized that not only did I love my parents, but I actually liked them too! Mom made it especially great.

One of our favorite things to do was to watch the Food Network for hours on end.  Of all of the shows, we particularly enjoyed, none other than, Paula Deen!  We loved all that butter she used and the way she would giggle always mom & I giggle, too.

This photo was taken by me and I remember saying, "Pretend like you are Paula Deen!"  She had worked all day and her feet were sore and legs throbbing, but she still managed to whip up a batch of cookies for Kiersten & I.

I love you, Mom. Miss you tons!